Accepting the fact that I was losing my daughters andleaving Jessica had me feeling very low. "She signed the same agreementso I guess she does know that I have to leave."Mom put our conversation on hold by holding up a finger. That wassomething she used to do when I would visit Chloe. It didn't matter ifsomeone was in an argument, when that finger went up, talking stopped.She grabbed the phone and made a call, "Hello Melanie? I need your help.It's urgent. Please, now!"Jessica's mom was in our kitchen in less than a minute."Diane is leaving," my step-mom said.There was only one word in response, "Why?" which was said in unison byJessica's mom and by Jessica who had come in behind her mom. Jessica'sexpression showed that she was upset by my news and tears were alreadyforming.I took a deep breath to get through the coming painful conversation."First of all, we both signed the agreement that said I have to leaveafter girls are weaned. Second, Jessica, you and the girls are mostimportant. Being parents suited us both. We'd both come from intact families, each of which overflowed with love and joy. There was none of the archetypal in-law in-fighting you see lampooned in sitcoms.Our families always gathered, all of us, both sides of the family, at special occasions. Easter, Memorial Day, the Fourth, Labor Day, Thanksgiving, Christmas and New Years' saw us all gathered in a throng, a sea of bodies, all happy chaos and whimsy and much, much hugging and kissing.Then there was Ellen's funeral.We gathered as an extended group, but there was laughter only at her memory, happiness only in our memories of her. She'd been taken from us by an uninsured drunk with seven DUI convictions and not a hint of a license.There was no justice, not for her; the driver served a year, and was released, only to harm others later.My impotent anger could have consumed me, might have consumed, pardon my immodesty, a lesser man. I had two children, though, and they needed me, needed for me to focus.
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